Monday, August 16, 2010

These Hands

Ok I have been asked by a few people (and even on this blog) to put this poem on. This is the poem I performed at the 2009 Reader's & Writer's Festival Poetry Idol. That was my first 'Big" performance so here it is:

These Hands

Tools of creation
Imprints in life’s memories
Abilities to build foundations
Rule above nations
And help others across busy roads

Used for public forms of affection
And block the gasps of mouths
Peek a boo never looked this sweet
Without these key players

Yet pessimists of these much needed ligaments experiment with what they can do/
These hands were never meant to bruise/
Never meant to abuse and to be used/
In ways that the same little ones that hold onto them are also held by them/
Shaken and taken away by them/led away instead of being led by them/

These hands were never meant to be murderous weapons/
Never were they to be the cause of cries but were to be wipers and cradles of tears/
Their touch was to bring comfort and safety/
Not uncertainty and fear/they were to be sturdy not unpredictable in its shape/
Life lines were not to be shortened on your hands due to the acts of mine/

These hands are made to write the stories of life/
To paint the backdrop of our futures/To illustrate love by being encircle with a ring of commitment
And to express emotions from the tip of a finger/

These hands can be the masterminds of mathematics/
Not the teachers of discipline/
One point can send species to follow a command/yet the hand itself sends three strongly back

These hands are the healers/the miracle workers of human existence
These hands are the first to bring in new and to bury deceased life/
The voice of an hearing impaired world/or the cornerstone of the blind/

With an identity place on every pair we leave our print for the world to remember
Are our fingerprints of these ligaments imprinted in people on these souls or on their throats/
Do they tell a story – or do they choke/do they yell out with emotion or bring emotions to screams/do they hush the room’s silence/or create the violence in scenes?

Only with these idle hands can they decide if they want to go wandering
These tools of gladness or distress
Key players to build or quick to undress
Rest folded reverently or outwardly to be scene

These are the possible personalities for these hands to be.

My First Book

I know I wrote about this in a previous post but it is too exciting!!! Let's recap:

So I was sick about a month ago and decided to make a book. Easy!

When I won this year's Poetry Idol, one fo the judges Charlie Dark approached me and was saying "Dude, you got to put your work into a book - get it out there!"

So I was sick, me being one with a clockwork mind (even when he is sick needs to do something creative) so I spent about 8 hoiurs compiling and making a book to be sold online and the end result:

When the Blue Lion Roars - a dedication to my old high school. This is where all my creativity developed. Check out the book - and if you want to buy one...more power to you. I got mine delivered about 3 weeks ago and man it is nice!!

Define Poetry

Define Poetry

Define Poetry/is it only rhyme/is it thoughts of the mind/does it make you laugh/to make you nod your head/to make you think/or to decide/to make you feel you are an intellect or a songwriter/a storyteller /a rapper you don’t mind/

Define poetry/does it make you click your fingers/or gasp in exasperation/to make you want to read more/to write a simile or metaphor/a form of creativity/or a bed for opinionated aspirations/to show off skill or knowledge/to create confidence to know you got “it”/or to show off your love for prose and books or what you hate in life before you forgot it/

Define poetry/do these words make you cry/make a tear drop settle nestled in the corner of your right eye/or have subliminal messages/to cover its apparent meaning/about the government or anything else the world is considering PC’ing/

Define poetry/I read a report about that same question/it made mention that anything could be considered/my definition may not matter or even agree to your recognition/but neither does my ambition or quote in a slam being ‘the other competition’/

Define poetry/well I can’t/I don’t think you can either/cos whose to say that what I write cannot be the definition/who’s to say what you write cannot be the truth/this is my witness and do you really need further proof/who’s to say what I write is not worthy to be published/these are my views I want to share with you/and I am only getting started/

Define poetry/mine is sometimes hidden behind bars/16 is some instances/ to pull off well thought out sentences/to change my accent to show off its pattern/to paint that picture in your head to see how my stories have happened/

Define poetry/lets look later into what you think/is that harsh/well I needed a place to show off an alliteration/but is my rhthym enough to voice out an opinion/I hope you listen cos this is basics growing out of well heard idioms/

Define Poetry/is it the undertones in words/the uplifted question mark at the end of a line/a stanza with deep meaning and symbolical images/or the nursery rhyme or one liners to show how a person grimaces/is it big words/verbs adjectives and word play/dramatic pauses/rapping/now whose to say/

Define poetry/I cannot but if you can please do/a jump off from the real into a sea of the big blue/mind block/mine shock the average but define the norm/mine can be Polynesian/street to bring cheers like Norm/

Define poetry/I heard yours my friends/and that is poetry to me/so I hope that your definition finds no end/


I learnt a new word the other day - 'Snowclones' - what is a snowclone? Well it is not the dessert that you eat out of ice.....the literal meaning is "a type of cliché and phrasal template originally defined as "a multi-use, customizable, instantly recognizable, time-worn, quoted or misquoted phrase or sentence that can be used in an entirely open array of different variants" - thanks Wikipedia!!!!!

But in my world it is "a brand to establish and exhibit NZ and the world's arts in fashion, publishing and events" - what that means is to watch this space and local markets, events and web advertising near you!!!!

Auckland Zine Fest

So the Auckland Zine Fest was on Saturday - If I understood it correctly, it was a day for independent maga-'zine' publishers to show off their stuff and get out there. I saw some online (as I had to work on Saturday day) but sounded hella interesting - not to mention that Tera patrick was in town for the Erotica expo!!!!

This was my first gig with the Literrati (not all of them as they just had a gig up in Whangarei for their Escaping the Ghosts show) so it was only the boys. We were to perform at the Zine fest afterparty.

So I was asked to perform three peices, the titles of these are i. Define Poetry ii. The Rescue (Love Poetry) & iii. The Phoenix.

Anyways, I was preparing this for about 2 weeks (but was having difficulty memorising Define Poetry - I just dont konw what was up with that one) then one of the members requested that I also have music accompanying them. So on Friday night I receive the tracks - 24 hours to get them down. Now the last two were no problem but the cursed Define Poetry just has a weird rhthym and now with a beat - my mind was having trouble comprehended the beat as well as remembering the words......

Plus working on Saturday - 24 hours became mroe like 2 hours (awoke at 7am on Saturday to start practising). Saturday night arrives and my friend Carol accompanied me to the gig. It was delayed when we finally commenced after 8pm. The lovely Anna (from the Literatti) was also to perform with us. I was 4th to begin in our set.

The piece for Define poetry was first - it was intended to be over 2 minutes long - after 30 seconds I was stumbling - 45 seconds I was in over my head - 1 minute past and I just forgot everythign to that piece so I just ended and walked off!!!! I guess the best of performers have choked on stage.

I remember the first NZ Kanye West concert....he had a great show (my all time favourite concert) and he choked when he was to perform 'School Spirit' from the College Dropout album. I was at the frount row trying to yell out the lyrics (with others aroudn me thinking "what a hard out guy")......

I continued for the rest of the show and I think I redeemed myself. It was a small audience but on my last poem I got some 'woo's' so that was great. All in all a great experience, I learnt to not worrying about choking on stage as the greats have all done it, and I learnt to perform with music and poetry. Probably not the greatest performance but hey all good....bring on the next challenge.

Sunday, August 1, 2010


Alright - how honoured was I on Friday night.....I had the mean opportunity to share the stage with the South Auckland Poets Collective. The collective (created by Ramon, Grace and Big D) what I understand to be was formed by some inspiring poets who also helped with youth struggling or trying to find an avenue to make an improvement in life. They did this through spoken word!!!

 I've had some great times performing with Grace and Darren in particularly (who are great poets solely) and have seen the collective perform twice. Their name had grown within youth circles and I was so honoured to be asked to be a guest poet at their book/DVD launch on Friday.

 So on Friday night I wrote a poem to celebrate their night. It was a satire towards Central Auckland to wake up from the image of South Auckland (which is mostly negative). the collective is an example of positivity from  a negatively portrayed environment.

 Our church youth came to support me as well as witness something special and what I felt could be influential for them as well. Well they had to leave early due to time restrictions but the response was great from them.

 I thoroughly was happy to perform with the whole collective as well as other special guests. The collective is goodness. They speak goodness and are great examples of positive spoken word - they truly show how the written and spoken word influences positive light and difference. To the whole collective, you have a fan and a brother in word here!!!! keep it up - to those reading this and want to see more of them (and buy a book or 4) look at them here -

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Literatti

OK I did the gig at Poetry Live a few weeks ago. I did a poem that I dedicated to the Literatti called 'Define Poetry' - I will put it onto this blog soon.

But allow me to retort - Back in early 2009 (when I was anxiously searching for a poetry hub to perform at) I was watching the poets from Def poetry Jam. While searching for poetry nights I stumbled across a Def Jam poet, Nikki Patin, who was visiting NZ.

As I reasearched the gig, I found that she will be performing with the literatti - named as NZ's leading poetry troupe inspired by def Jam Poets - HALLELUJAH!!!! So I went along and while watching the troupe, something came across me that built up my confidence. I ran out of my comfort zone and met some of the members and Nikki. The Creative director (the lovely Miriam barr) invited my to Poetry Live the next Tuesday where I performed my first live public piece. Since then, I have referenced the Literatti as a major influence to my performance lifestyle.

After my last gig at Poetry Live, Miriam was impressed to induct me into the troupe - how excited am I. I mean, this group is on another level so the intimidation is still sitting in. The group has poets I have performed alongside, competed against and learnt from.

I had my first workshop with them today and was in awe. Inspirational works on all levels...amazing and truly inspiring. how excited I am to be with them and blessed that they think my work and style is worthy.

Watch this space as I continue to share my experiences with them.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Death of an Aunty

The clouds will soak you with their tears
The sun will burn with agony
The dark will shine bright for you
The stars will decorate your home

The wind will send forth its gentlest breeze
The ground will soften for you to lay
The mist will cover the tragic loss you are gone
The broken heart will beat of your memory

The birds will whistle their call for you
The bees will hum a courageous song
The wolves will howl as your spirit flies
The earth will cry for missing your soul

The angels prepare your cloud to rest
The spirits will share their words with you
The world records your life
And will be spoken by your daughter that remains

Your husband now holds you
Your daughter now mourns you
Your family will miss you
God will now receive you

Now rest without pain
Rest without suffering
Rest without trial
Rest with those you love

You are
An Aunty that is remembered
A Sister that is unconditional
A Mother that will be missed
A Wife that is now home

I love you Aunty Tugbang.

My beloved Aunty Tugbang in the Philippines died two days ago. She was an Aunty that was so good to me. But the real story is about my dear cousin Mary-Ann. She is an only child (like myself) who is a criminal lawyer and to the point of having so much success that she attempted to run for mayor of our little village.

My cousin's father died approx 4 months ago and since then my Aunty's healthhas spiraled downwards and out of control. My young cousin in her early 30's has had to give up work to look over her parents as they both deteriorated in front of her eyes.

My mother has been a support to Mary-Ann, constantly consoling her and bringing her spirit into safer higher ground. My cousin is a rock and my Aunty was great. So in memory of her, here is a poem I had written last night. My cousin will read this at her funeral which with sad coincidence is my Mother's birthday.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

My First Book

Ok so today I had a cold. I met a gang of poets also over the past year who have commended me for my work. Me being a non tall poppy, took a while to follow their advice which was: PUBLISH A BOOK!!!

Now my whole first impression was all 'how the heck do I make a book?' Well, the powers of the universe put a good man named Charlie Dark in my path. He judged Poetry Idol this year and told me of a place to make great quality books online. So being stuck in bed and thinking 'well I just performed last night and the same thing was said to me' I followed suit.

I could not believe how easy it was. I bought the first one and should be in my hot little hands in about 2 weeks. Exciting I tell you!!!! It has a lot of my earlier pieces (the stuff that helped win slams) as well as some newer pieces to show my is the link so I hope you like it....and if you want buy a copy LOL


After thinking about how I could exercise I came across my old boxing pics. Too funny

All ready to pounce!

You missed baby!!!
Boom baby!!!!

Poetry Live - 6th July

Hey blogger,

So last night I was guest 'poeting' at the local poetry hub on K'rd. I was so happy to be there not because I was performing but because of the massive amount of support that was shown. Crazy!!!

I was blessed to have two wonderful bunch of musicians to open for me. Firstly, Bonnie Hurunui (favour for a favour I guess) and Mandy & Joe (in the bongo drums - the man) were absolutely amazing. Just doing their originals with all my boys asking 'why are they not signed?' I don't know either...better hurry. I love them to death - too real too true, just too much. Grateful as for them. Dont sleep on them cos they are rocking up always...check them out

Then secondly, the lovely Leigh Fitzjames with crazy Eli Moore on the piano (and soloing on the gat). Crooners that is all I have to say. Damn great together and the sound is so smooth you want to slide along. How happy I was to have them both - and they did a special 'almost in vain' redention of Erykah Badu. Too die for!! Thank you to them so so much.

The poets were absolute fire. They came on with game. So I got to go on intimidated as (oh and did I mention a head cold as well). I was worried because it was a lot of new stuff and I treated the spot as my own personal experimental open mic moment. Well it seemed to have worked ok. I did a special collab with Leigh on a piece called 'Lately'. That worked out too good I thought. I got to do a piece over her singing.

All in all was a great night. I still have to get used to being in the whole spotlight thing. I still am trying to have my work reach the level of the poets that inspire me...I must be doing something right as they keep coming to me with support. Met a guy named Otis last night who said he was recommended by David Eggleton to see me WTF? That tripped me out right there hahahaha

Well bloggers will keep you posted with the next the mean time keep writing.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Deceptikonz New Album - Evolution

NZ Hip Hop on a grand scale......

Now given I did not really enjoy the DKonz. I loved some of their lyrics.

To me I was an avid follower of the rapper Mareko. I loved his imagery and punchlines that battle rappers had to use. That was their security blanket and shining star. He was one of NZ's great in the stance but their music never did appeal to me. Does that matter to them? Most likely not.

With the success of Savage, great!!! A good hip hop beat can affect any U.S crowd I say. The lyrics of swing were poor and so was the Heavy Rotation album. The Elimination album was one of NZ's greatest raw hip hop album - but it was no Licensed to Ill or 36 Chambers. Problem is I bought all their albums. Mareko rapped with inspecktah desck - the rebel!!!! That needs recognition but recycling his Triumph verse was disappointing.

Devolo was never the standout and Alphrisk never received the props he deserved yet needed. So after all that what about their finale.....well the title track is Awesome - yes yes with the capital. What a matured move. No corny Savage hook (or screams), well thought out lyrics and the rock beat with Adeaze on the chorus is to die for. Plus the video is too great to ignore. Go Kayo on the comeback! their track with David Dallas is so street, you need council approval. 2012 has the concept of grand word play once again. If everything happens in threes, I hope this eliminates that theory. D-konz deserve a great album and this is most likely that one. About time! Go boys....

Poetry Live!!!!!

Ok now I have a lot more time let's get this blog up and running!!!!

This Tuesday night I will be performing at Poetry Live...that is 6th of July at the Thirsty Dog on K'rd.

Poetry Live is the first place I had performed my poetry over a year ago now. Tuesday night is their Poetry open mic night and man I wish I had utilised the opportunity to perform there more. But Tuesday will be great as I am the guest poet during the open mic set.

Also along for the ride are my good friends Bonnie Hurunui and Leigh Fitzjames who will be assisting with the opening music acts....

That is exciting for me. Bonnie has her band along for the ride and Leigh (with Eli Moore on the piano keys) will both be tearing up the stage for the first 30 minutes. You have got to witness it for yourself why i recommended these two greats to perform with have to surround yourself with I have the opportunity to surprise by performing with them in my set as well....will see how that goes.

Time to make some history ladies and gentlemen.

Leigh Sawmill Cafe with Bonnie Hurunui

Oh man!!! Today was invited to support a major supporting act: my good friend Bonnie Hurunui. After meeting up for constant coffees and text messaging, my girl here absolutely rocked the hick township and owned the mic.

Apart from the 'cougar' that was on my arm most of the night, it was a blast. My two mates enjoyed the scenery that the Sawmill Cafe had to offer as well.

My girl Bonnie - an absolute delight. Her vocals are one of those voices that makes you proud you have any affiliation with her. The critics state that her sound is a mix of famous and the infamous. I think she knows her style and is emphasising it with a little help of inspiration from these main stayers.

I promised to see her perform in the past, but schedule conflicts dismissed the opportunity. But being almost forced by performing gave me the nudge to do so in the near future. Do not sleep on the name, Bonnie Hurunui has got 'it'. An absolute honour.

I wrote her some words a while back from our first coffee here it is. Bring on Tuesday!!!

The Sea-gal

Fly Sea-gal
A talent of the East Coast seas
Fly Sea-gal
And let them see your wings
Spread each tip along your guitar strumming strings
Claw out the voice that only the Sea-gal can sing
Fly Sea-gal
Let the world see you sing
Fly Sea-gal
From the memories of the fatherless brood and 4 sibling crew
That bounded together with you
And even the prefect four years older than you
Fly Sea-gal
From your rural home to the tone of the big lights
To the right way to grow and playing with the goals in plain sight
Fly Sea-gal
Up North while others try to fly West
As the temperature rises with every melody sung beneath your heaving breast
Fly Sea-gal fly
One year off from the activities of other birds
To be heard independently
And maybe with the Moa that sings just as good
Fly Sea-gal
To the eventual death that immortalises you’re gone
End your life singing Sea-gal
For the world will always remember your song

Here is her page to check out:

Monday, June 21, 2010

Poetry Updates

My two readers: My apologies for the extreme lack of 'anything' on this blog - work, school and the list of my life took over time to provide any updates. Even my facebook profile has only seen me for a couple of minutes when I actually have a message to respond to.

But as BNTH once sung (as well as others) here is my brain on drugs!!! So let me recap what has happened since I last posted.....

Well can update my profile now - took out Poetry Idol this year. That was cool. I mean really, this year I felt more accomplished and did not invite many people so I can actually get 'real' feedback in a slam. But sharing the stage with some favourties: Grace Taylor (her poetry: too beautiful to even say in words), John Carr (classic!!), Tui-Z (Hawaiian National Slam poet extraordinaire) and a gang of others which were so real. But that was cool (and even messed up my last poem in the final round) but the love and support felt from total strangers was humbling.

So to celebrate here is the actual words to the final poem I messed on: Enjoy!!!

Refill Lines

A young boy stands with a book of refill lines/a pen in his pocket and a stomach full of butterflies/jelly dessert like legs knocking knees together and ripped fingernail tops with the vision of winning/

He stands behind a line full of memorised or pre note taken refilled lines/knowing his style is a little different to the average/to the norm/to the traditionalist sort of poet/the inspired drug induced/the English literature/the doctoral scholar produced/ the humorous comedian/the life blood represent is finished sort of poet/the full of emotion taken away/the well researched/the wannabe journalist and reviewer/the speaks with the hand sort of poet/ the veteran of the page/the haiku and prose written/the might choose a pro written/or the absolute novice learning the game and expressing life stories and how they feel sort of poet/

This young boy standing with his book of refill lines looks and feels intimidated/but infuriated with the fact that maybe his knowledge of his English background and particular style might get him somewhere/

He stands with a line full of congregated letters sitting on refill lines/ with a beanie and baggy jeans cos that is what is in his wardrobe/and acts as a uniform to hide him from the world he is about to approach/and becomes a pre determined gangsta from the hood/speaking that everything might be all good if all the kids could follow like he should sort of poet/the escape out of the ghetto and only has a tendency to speak in phonics or rap ebonics and possibly he smokes chronic ironically sort of poet/a rhymer/a rapper/a wannabe American with an American twang to accentuate words speaking so fast that you can’t help to think it is rap sort of poet/then he speaks against the grain/a descriptive and can adapt to speak about anything from the hood to a pillow to religion to even why he writes such words and styles/with the verbs and vowels he uses to get his point across even if his grammar sucks sort of poet/

This young boy does more than that with his book of refill lines/he goes to war with the mic/he lifts his Excalibur pen and spills it blood on a war torn field that records his life and words/but ends each battle always with a thank you/

He walks off stage gripping onto his refill lines/and sometimes is congratulated/sometimes he is criticised/off course he does/that is how he learns/ his soliloquy given may be the new voice of the world/or an old voice over used/he can be a new type or a stereotype/a freshly painted picture or a hyped up MTV video type/a hand shaken/and praised taken/ and prize-fighting on top of the world reaching a goal sort of poet/a “I really liked your rap”/or “you need to use better words when you perform and stand properly” sort of poet/a walk off with jelly legs standing firm and breathing hard with heart beats tripled/a dry mouth no time to dribble and awaiting the result while having a drink sort of poet/a being around his friends/his family saying “you did good”/a self evaluating never did enough and now has new inspiration to write a poem and restrict it from sounding traditional and now gives it to you right now sort of poet/

Maybe you just witnessed a young boy retelling writings from his refill lines/maybe you have not/maybe you were spectators in his war or maybe you indulged in the battle/but the fight has now ended and like all past conflicts/this one ends with another “Thank you”

Saturday, April 17, 2010

FOB - yeah you know it!!!!

Damn forgot to put the actual pic up - here it is boys and girls.

Here is the in house Edge blogger Jonathan Riley's review about the night - cool cat and best be giving him a $20 when I see him next.

Funky Oriental Beats

Ok ok - I have been told off by a bunch of people to "Hurry up and write on your blog!!!" and I see a new follower since everyone just likes running through here and having a look. Congrats to you - I expect to hear the same rant in a month or so - but I will try to keep it up. Need to start writing more now.

Well given that here is something cool to blog about. Funky Oriental Beats. I remember Renee telling me about FOB about 9 months ago and I thought 'oh hell no she is going to get me in that - she is just being nice!!" How wrong was I.

So let me just say to Renee (and to David Tsai - the dragon DVRDCT) that was truly an honour - and this is why. Not only was it a cool experience to perform (which I have not done courage Day in November I think) but the best part was the great people that I met and performed with. Oh that was the joy of the past week. What English assignment the devil on my right shoulder kept telling me!!!!!

I rocked up thinking "Man I am too fresh for this jazz" but the freshness of everyone else was grand. It is always cool to meet up and perform with Renee and Jamie Banks. Renee had me with her Granddad's poem and Jamie always cracks me up - "I could do with a back stretch myself..."

The music was grand. Here I am sitting with the boys and the first act was JJ Fong. She and I attended the FOB performance workshop last Saturday and she had to jet but I think we hit it off ok. This girl has a single and video clip - WTF?? So with the boys nudging me the whole time while JJ dances with her (do I say) burlesque dancers, I got down to her jams - especially her single 'Drive Me Crazy'. The beat for that is crazy. Look out for this one boys - she is hot like fire!!!

Then we had the classical piano people. Mr. 'neo-soul' Eli Moore - brother is bad!! I liked this guy straight away when we started talking about Erykah Badu and Maxwell - I promise to talk more about it bro when I see you next. Plus the guy can do a mean piano piece as well. Jess Tsai was amazing. Not only with her own contemporary pieces but playing that Chinese cello/violin thing - I know I am going to get in trouble for saying that.....but that was great. Then my man Hong, and his rendition of Barbie Girl and his skill playing "Let's Go Bobby!" was the catchphrase going home in our car.....the boy really can melt and destroy piano keys. We got to get the PussyCat Dolls rap down.

Leigh Fitzjames - just amazing with her Nina Simone recital. I actually was blown away in the rehearsal more - most likely cos my nerves took it away during the show. But girl has presence and can tear up any she is the bomb theatre organising producing jack-of-all-trades. Keep an eye out and let's do something!!!!!

Now the rapper boys. David Tsai - Mr. Dragon Cry!!! I was all "Man is Prince going to turn in his grave" - joking brother but that was a brave set of raps man. Another Steiny for you - and I felt bad when he got me one and I said I didn't drink!! Need to hook up and those beats were absolute fire. Julian Sammy aka Threat1 - boy rocked the mic. the bonus impromptu freestyle mash up at the end was absolute classic on Thursday night. Friday night? Maybe not so LOL.

And Erik and David. This guys were out of this world. One on the sax and the other on paint barrels ala Talib Kweli and Tamia. Friday night with these guys jamming with Hong and how I thought someone was yelling out they had to brush their teeth....personal joke I guess with Erik and David. That was a highlight and I was too worried I had to follow their act - so instead I had to follow I was screwed either way!!!!

To all that came - I think they had a good night. I had absolute mad fun and made some great friends doing it. Here to another year before FOB blows up again next year!!!!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Phoenix

Hey all my many readers (all two of you!!). I am so slack - I guess my poem a day up to Christmas did not work successfully. But here to a new year, new thoughts and new experiences.

I had an experience in where i flipped out at work. Stress overload and I let everyone know how I was feeling. I learnt afterwards that may have not been the best thing to do. I had a meeting with one of the bosses and she was so good and understanding to me. I felt stink from the meeting even though i triumphed. So I wrote her a poem after seeing the stresses she already had - and I may have added to it with my little fit.

The Phoenix

A lady once crossed paths with me/she had a fire in her eyes
The sort of flame that could burn a person
A spark to ignite joy in one’s heart and bring people warmly together
A heat that could react to re kindle or gently simmer an explosive conversation
She spat flames when she spoke and intensely listened
But she did not see who she was

A lady once crossed paths with me/she had a sensation in her soul
She walked when she should have flew
To rise above all the errors of life’s ways and the constant fires she believed kept growing
Life was crumbling and the temperature kept rising
Fuel was adding to her fire
And it rose out of control
But she did not know where she was

A lady once crossed paths with me/she had a burden on her shoulders
That kept her wings down and flapped awkwardly
She was tied down from grief
Her hatchlings were still learning to fly and shortened her wick quickly
The chemistry of past relationships caused her to hide behind her wings
She did not use what she already had

A lady once crossed paths with me/she cried burnt out sorrows and extinguished strengths to stresses
And I wanted to tell her....
Burdens are myths and you are a legend
You do not fly, you soar and many of us on earth look up to you
Let your light so shine as you beam ferociously across an afflicted sky
Carry your trials in twigs and build a nest to rest them on
Ignite these into a blaze and renew yourself to the Phoenix that you should best be known
A rebirth of old to a purified new
The chilling winds of past colds to a brighter day using the light within you

A lady once crossed paths with me/she told me she was a Phoenix
One that rose from the ashes
And I believed
She knew exactly what she was